My Idea of a WHOLESOME Black Man

tumblr_static_tumblr_static_filename_640“NIGGAS AIN’T SHIT”

These three words have probably been uttered by every black woman who has ever felt played or deceived by a man. If you have a twitter or really any kind of social media in this day and age, you have seen the tweets, you’ve seen the thousands of retweets and likes, and you’ve seen how this movement has become pretty big.

I’m not unlike any of these women. Those words have come out of my mouth MANY times. Like the time that I thought this guy was actually interested in me, but then found out he was ALSO interested in all of my friends. OR that one time my friends boyfriend cheated on her. OH YEAH, or that one time… The list could go on, I could sit here for days and tell you about the times that I have gotten played by a man. I could tell you about the times my friends have gotten played, or just stories I have heard around. But do the actions of a few men really condemn the whole male gender? Just because Daquan down the street treated me like garbage doesn’t mean that Jimmy will right? Are niggas really not shit?

Obviously after hearing and seeing these words over and over again men started to feel some type of way. More specifically black men. They found the words not only hurtful but degrading. In response, they started their own movement, #Wholesome. I only learned about this new hash-tag in December when I saw on my twitter timeline that there was a lot of buzzing on black twitter of PSU. Apparently the black men at PSU were #Wholesome now.

Now before we move on let me tell you guys my definition of a wholesome black man. In my opinion, a wholesome black man would be one that is not only honest with himself but with the people he interacts with on a daily basis. He walks, lives, and speaks his truth. A wholesome black man treats women with respect, is not a “playa”, and does not lead others to believe in a façade. In my opinion a wholesome black man does not have to convince you on his wholesomeness. He doesn’t have to tweet about it, he takes no offense to the “niggas ain’t shit” comments because he knows that the shoe doesn’t fit.

In my opinion… all of y’all aren’t wholesome.

And you know what? There’s nothing wrong with that. But you look dumb when you try to push this agenda, that you yourself do not follow. How do you think it looks when one day you’re spewing wholesome this and that on the TL, but the next we’re learning about how you continuously cheat on your girlfriend? How do you think it looks when you’re that creep at the party who grabs and touches girls without even thinking to ask permission? Are those wholesome acts or are you just a liar?

When I say “niggas ain’t shit” I’m not talking about all men. If you can’t grasp that then maybe you’re part of the problem? Black women are aware that there are black men out there that will treat them like queens, men who will respect and elevate them. But they ALSO know that there are men out there that don’t care about the women they hurt, or the damage they do. Those niggas ain’t SHIT

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