In a country that constantly reminds black women that they are not good enough or worthy of love, you would think that the black man would be there to support, to cherish, to appreciate black women. You thought wrong. Turns out some black men don’t really like black women.
In this day and age, some young black men have decided that they are too good to be with black women and have spent their time degrading and bashing them on social media and in real life. But it isn’t all black women that these men have deemed unattractive. See light-skinned women have been given a pass in this war against black women. They possess some of the European features that we have become accustomed to think is beautiful. They have smaller noses, smaller lips, loose curls, and lets not forget lighter skin. There’s also a plethora of negative stereotypes about black women that have been circulating for God knows how long, one of them being “The Angry Black Woman.” I don’t know about you, but I’m not angry, and the only time I am angry is when someone does something to offend me. So who’s lying?
Although we can be quick to write this off by saying these men are stupid and they are entitled to their opinions and preferences, we can’t ignore the bigger issue of colorism in the black community.
See, society as a whole has been conditioned to think that people with lighter skin are ultimately better and more attractive. When we open up magazines it is very rare to see dark-skinned models.
When we turn on the tv up until recently we never saw a dark-skinned woman in a leading role. This conditioning starts at a young age and we grow up as people to believe this false claim. This can be seen in toy dolls like Barbies and American Girl Dolls that up until recently only had white or lighter skin dolls. Imagine being a young dark-skinned black girl going to the store to pick up a toy and seeing none that looked like you. This not only does a number on self-esteem but it also influences the way we see other black people, especially women. Young dark-skinned girls are growing up to hate their skin color, curl patterns, facial features and wishing that they possessed some of these “so – called” desirable traits. Some black women are even going the extra mile to achieve this look as skin whitening has become a sort of epidemic. Why?
Because when society tells you that you are ugly, you start to believe it.
So why do we think this way? This didn’t just happen overnight, colorism took a long time and a lot of conditioning. The start can be pinpointed to the beginning of the enslavement of people of color in the New World. In North America during the period of African slavery, slave masters used to show preferential treatment to the slaves that possessed lighter skin. These slaves were usually kept in the house to do the “easy work” like tend to the kids, cook, clean, while the slaves with darker skin were left in the fields to pick the cotton.
Somewhere along the way black people began to adopt this view and see themselves in the way that their slave masters saw them, and this is where colorism within the black community began. After the civil war this internal hatred became more prominent in the black community. African Americans began to make exclusive social groups for people that were light skinned, they called these Blue Veins Societies, in which you could only be a member if your skin was light enough to see the blue of your veins. Separate neighborhoods were built for the different skin tones, the lighter skinned neighborhood being significantly better than the latter.
That was then and this is now. I would be lying to you if I said that things were currently much better. Today colorism is still present but more so with black women and the way that people see black women. The funny thing is the people that are most vocal about their dislike of black women are black men. Men who have black women as mothers,sisters, aunts have decided that they can do better and by better they mean lighter.
I think that it is very unsettling that these men have a problem supporting and loving women who share the same exact characteristic as them, but it goes to show the deep issue, have we really been conditioned to hate our own skin? That seems to be the only explanation. It would be a different story if black men chose the women that they dealt with peacefully without having to degrade a dark-skinned black women in return, but they don’t. In order for them to get their point across a black woman always has to be put down. This is evident in the video below, some of the black men are seen using stereotypical generalizations to validate why they don’t date black women.
“I don’t like black girls, they’re ratchet”
“Black woman got bad attitudes”
Although some black women can possess these characteristics that some may not deem attractive, it doesn’t mean that all black women are the same.
Black men, think about how it would feel if every black women said that they didn’t like black men cause all black men are criminals or all black men leave their families. How would you feel?
And black women, regardless of shade, just remember that you are beautiful. No matter what society has to say about how you should look or what some stupid man has to say about you, your black will always be beautiful.