A few days ago my girlfriends and I were sitting in the dorms talking and like any normal teenage girls, the topic fell on boys. Not just any boys though, white boys. I asked all 3 of them if they would ever consider dating a white boy and the looks I received were nothing short of dirty. They looked at me like I had slapped them and I wasn’t even surprised. See, I was expecting the worst but hoping that at least one of them would be open to the idea.
Personally I don’t care about anything when it comes to relationships. I think that everyone should be able to love whoever they want, who cares what people think? If it’s good, healthy love, WHO CARES?
But a lot of people care. Many people don’t share the same thought process that I do.
From the black woman’s perspective why would they date a white boy when there are men out there like them to love. Black women realize that their struggle is different and also realize that white people will never be able to put themselves in the shoes of black people and vice versa. This is just a fact as much as a white man or woman may try to understand your struggle or your “ways”, they will never.
There’s an episode of ‘Being Mary Jane’ in which Mary Jane a black women starts a fling with a white man. We’ll call this a fling because it really only took her like 2 dates to realize that she was making a mistake. For her closing breakup statement to dear ol’ Eddie, Mary Jane says “Just because you did a bid in the peace corps, or you’ve got some black friends doesn’t make you anymore understanding or cultured.” and Eddie really couldn’t wrap his head around this fact because he truly believed that it actually did.
Mary Jane explains to Eddie that he will never FULLY understand what it’s like being black and she can’t always be the person that has to explain it him.Why do the extra work when you can find someone who knows exactly what you’re talking about from the get go?
When rapper Eve married her very handsome and very white British husband, the feedback from the black community was wild. Black women applauded her for “success in snatching up a rich white guy” while black men deemed her a “negro bend wench.”
If you are unfamiliar with the term coined by author Tariq Nasheed, I’ll make it short and sweet for you. A negro bed wench according to Nasheed is a black woman suffering from Stockholm Syndrome who accepts and acts to further white supremacy by being with a white man.Seems that some black men were just butthurt that Eve decided to “sell-out” by going the other way.
Some black women just don’t want to put up with the looks that they might get when they go out with their white significant other, trust me there are looks. The meanings of these looks may vary but they’re still there. Nobody wants to feel like they’re being judged.
That still isn’t anything though, this is just between the two people in the relationship. When things start to get really serious and you finally decide to bring your man home, BEWARE OF THE BLACK PARENT. Not all black parents care but there are some. There’s a scene in the movie “Guess Who?” where a black girl brings her white boyfriend home to meet her parents and as soon as they reach the house her father assumes that her boyfriend is the cab driver and the black man (the actual cab driver) is her boyfriend. He gestures to her boyfriend to put the bags at the door while dabbing up the cab driver. He didn’t even bother to think that his daughter could bring a white boy home.
These are just a few of the roadblocks that could come in the way of an interracial relationship for black women. I’m sure someone out there has more.