I know that things seem horrible right now. You feel like no matter how hard you try to swim you keep sinking deeper and deeper, drowning. Nothing feels good, nothing can make you feel better. Things feel like they are falling apart. You don’t want to do anything, you don’t feel like doing anything. All you want to do is sit in bed and cry. Cry yourself numb, till you finally fall asleep. Because the only time you get some sort of peace is when you’re asleep. For a few hours your thoughts are gone, your troubles are gone. I want to promise you that it gets so much better. I know that seems cliche, but it’s true. In a few weeks, you’ll look at yourself in the mirror and love the person looking back at you. You’ll be happy regardless of what is happening. In a few weeks you’ll feel like you can do it again, survive.
Right now I need you to really dig deep inside of you and find that power, that will, to get you through this. It may feel like you have nothing left, you’ve tried everything, nothing is working. I need you to keep digging, it’s there.
You might feel hurt and angry at all the people who let you down. You keep replaying their words in your head, rereading their texts. Trying to figure out why? What you did? Why did they have to treat you that way? You think and think and the answers just aren’t coming to you. They won’t come, you’re thinking yourself into a hole. You need to let go. Sometimes you won’t get the answers that you need, sometimes you need to let these relationships and situations die. Let go of the hurt. While you’re in your bed, crying, feeling hopeless, they’re living their life. They’ve moved on, they don’t even think about you anymore, they’re happy. It’s your turn to be happy. So as much as it hurts do what you need to do to let go of all of those bad feelings, let go of the grudge. Forgive. Right now it may seem like they hurt you so bad and you can’t possibly imagine ever forgiving them, you need to. Not for them, for you. You need to let go of all of that anger and sadness because all it does is add a burden to your life. It pulls you down, constantly being sad, it takes a toll on you.
You don’t always have to deal with things alone. For years you’ve kept things in, pretended you were okay. You have people around you, that love you. People that would jump at the opportunity to help you, to be there for you. Stop fighting for people who don’t care. If someone wanted to be in your life, if someone really wanted to be there for you, they would be. Stop blaming yourself for people giving up on you, it’s not your fault. They’re missing out, they can’t handle you. Keep the mindset that you deserve good things in your life, you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be loved. All of this is in you, love and happiness, it’s within you. You don’t NEED someone to be there for you, YOU be there for you. You don’t need people to stay, get comfortable with being alone. Fall in love with yourself.